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Derek Murray from Clydebank will be taking part in Alzheimer Scotland’s Memory Walk on Sunday 17 September in memory of his dad, Jimmy Murray, who died with Lewy Body Dementia in October 2021. Derek shares his Memory Walk story:
"My dad was a man with a big appetite for life. He had a real sparkle about him, a proper ‘cheeky chappie’ who loved being with people and always had a story to tell. I want to celebrate the man Jimmy Murray was and to raise vital funds for all the other families facing the challenges that we did.
"He was born and raised in Clydebank, but he lived in Lowestoft in East Anglia for the past 30 or so years. It was around 2018-19 that I started to notice a change in him. He seemed a bit confused, but it didn’t seem too serious at that point. His memory wasn’t bad, especially for a man of 70. I’d see him every few months. The next time I visited, he’d lost a huge amount of weight. I was worried, I thought he might have cancer. He just said “I’m not too hungry at the moment. I don’t eat much these days.” That was long before we thought it might be dementia. I thought dementia was all about memory – I didn’t realise then how much more there is to it, especially with different types of dementia.
"He started to have problems understanding things going on around him. It was like time didn’t matter anymore. He kept trying to leave the house in the middle of the night to come back to Clydebank; once he managed to get a train all the way to Glasgow without his wife, Linda, realising. She was distraught when she got up the next morning and found he’d gone. He was just completely focused on coming back to where he grew up, it was as though the past 30 years of his life didn’t really matter anymore.
"Eventually we managed to get a diagnosis of dementia. That happened during Covid, and it was really tough for everyone. We were staying in touch through phone calls, but he would lose track of when we last spoke. Sometimes he’d call me several times in a day, sometimes he wouldn’t call for weeks but then start chatting as if we’d only spoken the day before. Near the end he was admitted to hospital, he’d lost so much weight that his body just couldn’t cope any more. He’d lost his appetite not just for food, but for everything. He died in October 2021 and it was only then we found out he had Lewy Body Dementia.
"I saw Alzheimer Scotland’s Memory Walk advertised over the summer and it felt like a good thing to do. I work for a bank and I’ve been involved in charity fundraising a lot through work. This is really personal for me. I don’t think people understand the impact of dementia unless it happens in their own lives. I hope I can raise funds to help people be more aware of dementia – especially different types of dementia – and to support research into find a cure. I’ve had a lot of support from my colleagues at work. I’ve shared my Memory Walk fundraising with them and lots of people have reached out; some to congratulate me, others to share their own dementia experiences.
"I was lucky, though. He never forgot who I was and he cared a lot about me, I could see that. I’ll always treasure the memories I have of him. The good times and the laughter. That’s what I’ll be remembering when I do my own Memory Walk."
You can support Derek’s Memory Walk here. It's not too late to sign up for Scotland’s Memory Walk! Sign up here.
