Marc’s story: Connecting through cooking
Marc’s mum Therese, 72, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2023. Here he shares her story, describing how their love of cooking helped them reconnect and also sparked an idea for a fundraising recipe book.
Food has always been a big part of my family’s life and I have great memories of being in the kitchen cooking with my mum, Therese. Mum has always been a keen baker and would make Christmas cakes every year.
But this changed a few years ago when she suddenly got really stressed about it and we couldn’t work out why. We eventually realised it was to do with the weighing, measuring and counting that’s involved. That got us thinking that something might be wrong.
Mum, who’s 72, was diagnosed in 2023 with Alzheimer's disease and by that point she had stopped taking any interest in cooking. I think she just lost her confidence and would rather avoid doing something than risk being embarrassed if she couldn’t do it.
Alzheimer’s, and dementia in general, runs in our family – it’s affected my mum’s sister and two brothers as well as my gran on my dad’s side. I think that’s why I’ve always had this thing about making sure we saved all the family recipes. We have all of my gran’s handwritten recipes and we all really value them now.
Living with Alzheimer's has been a difficult adjustment for mum. She was a primary school teacher and is used to getting on with things and solving problems on her own.
I attended a carers’ awareness session run by Alzheimer Scotland which gave me the idea of using cooking to engage with mum again.
I work as a cognitive behavioural therapist in the NHS and I am big into the idea of using cooking as therapy. That’s always been my way to ground myself after a busy day at work. I post a lot about this on my Instagram account, @Cooking_Therapist_Glasgow.
A lot of the time when a loved one has dementia you’re searching for ways to connect that aren’t threatening to them or taking them too much out their comfort zone. Food is a good way into that.
I think the trick is not to make it too formal. One day I decided to take some ingredients to my parents’ house to make these chocolate pot desserts that mum was really famous for making, so I knew it was something very familiar to her.
At first she was quite reticent, but once I’d weighed things out and started the process she really got into it. She took over and was telling me what to do next. It was great to see her light up and be a bit more like her old self. She then got to enjoy seeing her granddaughter Lucie eat them, because it had been so long since she made them.
Since then I’ve been back to my parents’ house to make my gran’s apple pie recipe, and also empire biscuits. Sometimes mum won’t have the energy to get fully involved but it’s just great to spend time and connect with her.
Recipe book project – get involved
Food in general is something most people can easily talk about and enjoy together. It’s given me the idea to create a recipe book, with all profits going to Alzheimer Scotland. I’d like to bring together sweet and savoury recipes from people living with dementia and their loved ones. Ideally recipes that make you smile and bring back memories about good times in people’s lives.
To contribute a recipe, email Marc Mazoyer at [email protected]
Marc with Therese