Covid, its impact on residents of care homes and their families
About me and my mum
My name is Janette and I have been a member of NDCAN since 2016. My mum Dora passed away in June 2019, so we were spared the anguish and stress that Covid has brought to those family members who have been unable to visit their loved one during lockdown. However, I can share my thoughts on how I imagine lockdown would have impacted on us as a family. Mum was born in 1931, and without going into detail, at an early age suffered from a childhood trauma that robbed her of her mother. As her father had to be away from home during the war years, it meant she was looked after by various relatives and eventually went to stay with her best friend's family. That experience certainly made her more resilient, and all through her adult life, family was what meant the most to her. It was something Mum never spoke about, but as her dementia progressed she mentioned it more often, no doubt as those childhood memories surfaced. Mum had a long and happy marriage to my father who adored her. When he passed away in 2014, she was 4 years into her dementia journey and never really came to terms with his passing. In 2016 she had a bad fall (one of many) and we reluctantly decided that residential care would be the best option for her welfare.
Going into a care home
Going into a care home
We visited several care homes and chose one with a homely feel and lots of activity and company. Mum enjoyed chatting to the other residents and made several new friends, but was also blessed to have regular visits from her friends and neighbours from home who were made to feel welcome. Very few residents chose to stay in their own rooms, as the care home staff provided daily activities and encouraged the residents to participate. We visited Mum several days a week and formed friendships with the families of other residents. I also tried to take Mum out for lunch or coffee at least once a week - that gave her something to look forward to. Family members were encouraged to become involved in the lives of the residents and were very much considered as 'partners in care'. I often went to the home to do craft activities with groups of residents and would take my dog Jamie (a registered Therapet) in with me. This gave so much pleasure to residents who missed their own pets and gave them the chance to reminisce about them. In 2018, the care home raised funds to purchase a Trishaw through the Cycling Without Age charity, and my husband and I trained as Trishaw pilots. We took Mum and other residents out and about in the village and local countryside. After Mum passed away we continued to visit and help out as needed up until lockdown.
The impact of lockdown
The impact of lockdown
Since lockdown began, visits from family have been limited to conversations through windows, and residents have, until recently, been confined to their rooms and unable to mix with other residents. Had Mum still been alive she would have been extremely distressed at not being able to see the people that meant the most to her, or spend time with her friends in the home. She would also have struggled to understand things like Skype or Face Time calls on an iPad or tablet. Volunteers like myself, beauty therapists, entertainers, art therapists etc. have all been excluded during this period, creating a vacuum which is having to be filled by already over burdened staff who are trying to maintain high standards of hygiene and personal care for residents. I am particularly sad that the Trishaw outings that the residents loved and got them out in the fresh air and provided stimulation haven't been possible. These outings were so beneficial to both mental and physical health. I recently met a friend whose mother was in the same care home and had sadly passed away with Covid. The experience was so distressing for her, watching her mother deteriorating through a bedroom window and not being able to sit with her until the last few days of her life. She had nothing but praise for the care home staff and the compassionate way they looked after her mother, but she now suffers from flashbacks and feelings of guilt. Had I been in a similar situation and unable to visit Mum I would have been frantic with worry that she would be feeling abandoned by those she loved most, as happened in her early childhood. All through this period I have felt so thankful that my mum passed away last year, as she wouldn't have understood why we weren't visiting. Physical contact was also an important part of our visits. She loved to have her hands and feet massaged, nail polish applied, hair styled by my daughter and she also took great comfort from a hug. Without this regular contact and reassurance of our love, my fear would have been that it might have triggered feelings of abandonment and loss.
Quote 2
"A better way has to be found to manage these issues, and to recognise that family members are so much more than 'visitors', and must be recognised as partners in care for all those living in residential care settings".
What could be done better
What could be done better?
While I consider it important that the spread of the virus has to be prevented, the impact of the measures to date has undoubtedly had a detrimental effect on both residents and their loved ones. A better way has to be found to manage these issues and to recognise that family members are so much more than just 'visitors' and must be recognised as 'partners in care' for all those living in residential care settings. On our initial visit to Mum's care home I vividly remember the manager saying "this is not my care home, it's the home of the residents who live here. I manage the home and my staff are here to provide the best possible experience for your loved one." In my opinion this philosophy should underpin all future considerations regarding the type of infection control and prevention relating to residential care, taking account of the importance of meaningful activity and human contact through any future outbreaks.
